learning to do less.

My morning yoga practice today was to let my exhausted self wake up without an alarm. I woke up at 10am, and it felt great. I am still in my pajamas drinking tea, and happy. The last few days, were so busy and filled with lots of vigorous yoga practice and a lot of teaching. I am so grateful for the day that it finally sunk in that an important part of a balanced yoga practice is resting. It is knowing when to slow down, taking a step back, and inviting oneself to do less. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself. I was, and if not careful, can be a 'pusher'. The kind of person who felt as though I was never doing enough, never good enough, and hurting myself while forcing things to be how I thought they should be. If I happened to actually get to that place wherever I thought I should be, I was not satisfied. I would be too focused and wrapped up in what was next, what was better, what was anything that where or who I was. Sometimes this 'pusher' side of my personality could be so overwhelming I wouldn't try at all, or I would pretend that I didn't care. Rarely satisfied, and completely motivated by self will, I didn't allow for the space to see all the beauty and gifts of the present moment. Competition with anyone, especially ourselves is so painful and destructive. It robs us of the only thing that truly matters, this moment, the here and now. Ironically, it is when we allow ourselves space, stop obsessing/thinking about ourselves, act out of kindness and love that all we are pushing for is able to fall into place as it should. It is not that we should stop trying, or stop showing up. Trying, practicing, and working hard are definitely necessary. But I learned for myself that there needs to be a neutrality, and a softness present. I try to practice watching closely the thoughts that flow through my mind, and the signals my body sends out. When I practice asana(yoga postures) I regularly remind myself that the end result isn't important because it isn't reality. Instead, I ask questions. What is happening in this moment? What am I feeling here? And then from there I can discern if I need to back off, stop for now, try again, or move on. That moment is my reality, and in that moment everything is exactly as it should be. If I listen to and honor the present moment, all of those things I would have been pushing for have a chance to happen, gracefully, eventually. Along the way I get the chance to live, feel, and learn....and enjoy my morning tea. Peace, you guys!

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